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Thursday, July 18, 2013

We mourn the passing of... common sense.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: 
-Knowing when to come in out of the rain; 
-Why the early bird gets the worm; 
-Life isn't always fair; 
-And maybe it was my fault. 
Common Sense lived by a set of simple & sound policies: 
Don't spend more than you can earn, and Adults, not children, are in charge. 
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a child been charged because he brought a bubble making gun to kindergarten only worsened his condition. 
Common Sense lost ground when teachers claimed they co-parent children. It declined even further when parents were required to get school consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a child; it lost further ground when parents were not inform when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. 
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault if you did. 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense finally died when when false rape accusation was used to hide promiscuity.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, do nothing...

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